The Health Conscious Drew: They say that exercise and proper diet are the keys to a longer, healthier life. Oh well...Watch for my next book, "How I Died While Jogging."

Drew the Lover: I read the Forum letters in Penthouse thinking that I could learn from them. I remember thinking sometimes when I was having sex, "Let's see now. How did 'Surprised in Cincinnati' do it?..."If a Playboy Playmate said in her questionnaire that she liked a guy in tight pants, I would go out and buy some tight pants. If she said she liked well-endowed men with big muscles and hairy chests, I would cry.

And Drew's formula that took him from lonely teenager to successful megastar: Avoid cheap cologne and cheesy bikini underwear. Don't expect sex on the first date, and never pay more than twenty dollars for a lap dance.

"Dirty Jokes and Beer" features all this, plus a section that Drew calls kind of a Drew Carey in the Fourth Dimension but still close enough to the real Drew to scare me.

This audiobook contains adult language.